The Art of Multi-Tasking

Some claim that women are naturally better at multi-tasking than men. After having 3 babies, I really don't doubt that. It makes sense, especially when you think about nursing moms. In fact, with every baby I have perfected my ability to complete tasks while nursing the baby at the same time.

At this point, I can nurse the baby and simultaneously...

•  Type an email.
• Prepare (some) meals.
  
• Dial the phone.
• Brush my hair back.
• Comb and style my girl's hair (while balancing the baby on my lap, while I sit in indian-style on the floor).
• Wipe down the counters and table in the kitchen.
• Sweep the floor.
• Put away dishes.
• Use my foot to move clothes and toys back into their designated rooms.

I suppose that once I have children who are old enough to hold a baby and/or do more chores, the need for this level of multi-tasking will all become a thing of the past. Won't it? I'm right about this, aren't I? You who have older children: please tell me I'm right!

But, I digress.

At any rate, how about you? Do you work "single-handedly" while nursing? What have you learned to do? I'm wondering can one of you top this list? Any takers?  

What He Must Be- Courtship Series Part 3

In Part 2 of the Courtship Series, I mentioned that since I did not have an active Christian father to set standards and guide me through the courtship process, I sought God for wisdom in this area. I listed some of the biblical standards that God illuminated during that time.

By contrast, Dr. Voddie Baucham is a very involved Christian father who is concerned with and has written a book on this topic.  

"What He Must Be… If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should look for in a son-in-law, including trustworthiness, a willingness to lead his family, an understanding of his wife’s role, and various spiritual leadership qualities."

Although written from the perspective of a father, Baucham's book can benefit anyone seeking a better understanding of biblical standards for husbands and the courtship process. Learn more about the book here .

The Media-Centered Home

The television that I have had since I was about 12 years old is the same one that hubby and I have used for the past 5 years. Despite the fact the we occasionally had to give the side of it a good whack in order to avoid uncontrollable static, the thing held up pretty well. Nevertheless, a little over a week ago it took it's last whack and went out altogether.

In all honesty, I'm not upset about this. In fact, I'm actually a little relieved because I was working to "demediaize" (ahem...yes, I made that word up) our family anyway.

We are commanded to "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him" (1 John 2:15).  Nevertheless, "Wherever we look, technology blasts us with the world's values, attitudes, and false definitions of reality. The popular media lie to us about the nature of goodness, truth, and beauty. They offer counterfeit versions of what a family is supposed to look like, what romance is, what success is all about, and where we should spend our money" (Joshua Harris in Media Discernment 101).

My desire for our family is that instead of spending endless hours watching, lusting after, or thinking like "the world" that we will spend more time acting, seeking after, and thinking like God. I think that this is true for most Christians families. However, there is some real work and real sacrifice involved in achieving it that doesn't come easy for most of us. In order to do this we must be willing to take the necessary steps in order to create a home-life that is not  "media-centered" but "word-centered."

In Media Discernment 101, Joshua Harris writes, "...consider changing the setup of your home so that entertainment technology, particularly television, is neither omni-present nor central. Let's not allow movie and television watching to become our default free-time activities. You may also wish to abstain periodically from different forms of media in order to test their influence on your life and increase your focus on God." I'll admit that whenever I am extremely busy or tired, my first inclination is to "pop" a movie in for my children to watch or to let them spend entirely too much time in front of the television watching cartoons. Sometimes after a couple of hours it seems like they start acting like cartoons!

However, without a television to use as a "crutch" I am more likely to have my children do something more productive during those times. For example, since the television broke, I have been more inclined to have them do chores, "read" books, and to use their imagination while playing. I find that I am much more likely to go for a walk, talk, sing, play, teach, discipline, hug, kiss, and laugh with my children during the day. Automatically, I realize that there becomes a larger emphasis put on God and His word because I use that time to testify and sing songs of praise to God with my children while we do other things. 

In essence, the lack of television lends itself to my doing more to fulfill Deuteronomy 6:6-8 which says, "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." 

I'm not saying that all media is evil or that we may not get a television in the future; however, I do hope to keep our viewing time to a minimum. Not only does it limit the amount of "worldly" influence coming through our home, but it also causes us to put more of an emphasis on relationship with God and each other. As I look down the line to 10 or 15 years from now, I think this will have been a vital part in becoming the godly, close-knit family I hope we will be.

Bring On The Tea!

I'm finally registered and will be on my way to the 2009 Mother Daughter Tea next Saturday. The Tea is sponsored by Family Reformation Ministries and the description reads:

Our mother/daughter one-day retreat gives you and your daughters (of all ages) the rare opportunity for a day away together. Be refreshed and renewed with an exciting day of inspirational teaching, testimonies, music, and fellowship; as well as a delicious gourmet lunch! Be inspired and encouraged by mother/daughter speaking teams who share from the heart the tremendous part mothers and daughters may play in shaping their families and society as a whole.

Speakers include: Maggie and Jessica Erber, Stacy and Tiffany McDonald, Katherine and Melinda Sanford, and Hope Ware.

Sounds like a grand ol' time, does it not?

My mom and I are so excited to be attending this event! Now that I am an adult and raising my own children, I can appreciate my mom so much more. When I reflect on some of the ways I treated her and took her for granted growing up, (especially during those dreadful teenage years) I could just hang my head in shame! I often find myself calling to apologize to her for those things now that I'm older! Thankfully, she's quite gracious about the whole thing and chooses not to hang it over my head:)

When I found out about this Tea, I figured it would be a great opportunity to show my mom I appreciate her by carving out some "mother daughter time" just for the two of us. She loved the idea! She loved it so much so, she bought a new dress! Now that means she's seriously looking forward to this! I pray that by attending this event, we bond and create a special memory that we can look back on for years to come.

How do you go about connecting and bonding with your own mom?

Speaking of Marriage Preparation...

...Bethany at The Apple Cider Mill recently dedicated a post to the following questions:

If you are married, how did you prepare for marriage--or did you? What advice would you give to an engaged or courting couple to help them prepare for married life? If you're engaged or courting, what sort of advice would you like to have as you prepare for marriage?

Bethany lists 10 important issues that one should consider when preparing for marriage. I must say she makes some VERY good points! Read the entire list here.

Ending My Divorce Practice- Courtship Series Part 2

“Modern American dating is no more than glorified divorce practice. Young people are learning how to give themselves away in exclusive, romantic, highly committed (at times sexual) relationships, only to break up and do it all over again. God never intended for His kids to live like this. And instead of stepping in and doing something, many Christian parents simply view these types of relationships as a normal and necessary part of growing up. Unless your child is wiser than Solomon, stronger than Samson, and more godly than David (all of whom sinned sexually), they are susceptible to sexual sin, and these premature relationships serve as open invitations.” (Dr. Voddie Baucham in Family Driven Faith p. 21).

At 18 years old, toward the end of my freshman year of college, I reached the same conclusion that Dr. Baucham describes in the above quote. God had drew me into a closer relationship with him and after receiving the Holy Spirit, I was determined not to go back to my former way of doing things. So, that summer I decided that I was going stop dating. Instead, I would trust God to reveal who my future husband would be in his timing. Essentially, I put an end to my divorce practice, as Dr. Baucham would put it.

Honestly, this was no easy endeavor for me. It meant cutting off former inappropriate ties and relationships, some of which were really strong. In addition, I knew that if I was truly going to guard my heart as commanded in proverbs 4:23, I was also going to have to be diligent in preventing new inappropriate ties and relationships from forming. In efforts to do this, I went to various extremes.

I ended "friendships" with members of the opposite sex that seemed like they had the potential to turn into more. I stopped listening to and watching media that "fed" my desire for romance and companionship. I began to dress more modestly as to not attract ungodly attention from men or to send the wrong message. Instead, I saturated myself with christian music, prayer, and the word of God. God blessed me to maintain emotional and sexual purity and I had never felt closer to Him than I did during that time.

Nevertheless, there were still temptations and sometimes fear that my "waiting on the Lord" for a mate wouldn't prove worthy and I would end up old, alone, or with someone who would make my life miserable. I was also concerned because I was realizing how naive I had been when it came to men. I wondered how I would know when God finally did bring "Mr. Right" along. I had no christian father who was active in my life to cover, teach, or guide me and I didn't know anything about what to look for in a husband.

Nevertheless, James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

I began to seek the Lord for wisdom in this area. I asked him to show me what standards I should hold a potential husband to and just like a father does for his daughter, God began to speak during my prayer and study time. Here are some standards he illuminated to me through the word of God:


Salvation - "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 COR 6:14, NIV).

Are you convinced this person is a born-again Christian? How do you know?

Like-mindedness- "How can two Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"(Amos 3;3, KJV)

Are you both of the same mind when it comes to major issues such as salvation, doctrine, sexual purity, priorities, biblical womanhood, manhood, children, ministry etc?

Influence- "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners"(1 cor 5:33 , KJV).

Does this person have a a positive influence on your life and that of others? Are they the kind of person you can learn from and look up to? Will they cause you to be closer to God or further apart?


Relationship with Parents- "Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness" (Proverbs 20 20).

How does he treat his mother and father? Is he obedient? Respectful? Does he have open communication with them?

Faithfulness- "Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?" (Proverbs 20:6).

Is he consistent in his character? Is he committed and loyal in relationships and business?

Integrity- "The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him" (Proverbs 20:7).

Is he honest? Does he stand up for what's right regardless of the cost? Is he ashamed of Christ and the gospel or does he stand up for it openly?

Soon, I began to feel more confident that not only would God bless me with the one he had for me, but that he had given me some wisdom and standards for what kind of man I should be praying and waiting for.

I've been away from the computer for awhile; however, stay tuned. I am working on Part 3 of the courtship series!

On Courtship- Courtship Series Part 1

Recently, a Virtuous Living reader emailed me. She wrote:

I enjoy your posts and your blog regularly. As a sister in Christ who has traveled the road of singleness/ courting/ marriage I wanted to know if you could offer some advice. There is a guy that is interested in courting me. I have never courted (according to Christian principles) before, and I'm not sure how to proceed. What are some good rules to follow when courting from your perspective? Are there books you recommend? Besides getting to know each other (and seeking God), what should the couple be doing? Any other advice and/ or;, suggestions?

Thanks!

PS- Feel free to post these questions to your blog!

As a christian mom, I desire to gain a better understanding of this area so that I can guide my children when the time comes. In addition, I want to be a blessing to those of you who may have the same and/or similar questions. So, I plan to devote some upcoming post to the subject of Courtship.

Let me begin by saying I am in NO WAY an expert on this subject! In fact, since I have been researching material in this area, I am learning new information that I have never heard before. Though I will share a little about my personal experiences, there are various why I wouldn't say that those experiences entirely align with the biblical model of courtship( I will explain more on this in a future post).

With that, as you read my ideas and experiences on this, please keep in mind that "my approach," to courtship was based on my own unique set of circumstances and the biblical principals I understood and was able to apply at the time. It is not meant to be taken as "doctrine." As I heard a preacher say once, "You can't make a doctrine out of personal experiences!" True doctrine must come from the word of God.

With that said, perhaps you are reading this and actually have alot of biblical teaching/resources in this area. Maybe you are reading this and have many questions you would like to be addressed in this area. Please, feel free to join the upcoming discussion and give your "2 cents!"